I don’t have lofty goals.
I don’t care if I’m rich or poor,
Famous or unknown.
I just want to be your companion,
to be a comfort to your soul.
I just want to walk beside you
on this journey Home.
Just give me shelter from the storm
and let me grow.
I’ll be your garden
in a rose.
This is my poem of the day. It isn’t about me wanting to be married or even to have a partner or anything. I’m really happy with life the way it is. Even the parts I’m working on improving, I love the process of trying to improve them and myself! But I had a dream just before fajr prayer today that told me I could live any life I wanted, and this poem came from my heart in response to that.
Yes, I want to use my gifts and life-energy to benefit the beloved creatures of God, inshaAllah, but I know I can do that without being a best-selling author or starting a wildly successful social enterprise or founding a permaculture fiber farm women’s refuge and shelter (all dreams I’ve held dearly in my heart for decades now!). I can alleviate the suffering of God’s beloved creatures by learning to restrain my tongue, by being patient, and saying thank you, with sincere warmth and gratitude, to the one who strikes at me with their tongue or intention. I can do it by being truly kind and absolutely trustworthy. I can do it be being companion and friend who is a constant source of comfort, and knowing my boundaries, so my love never wells up from a place of bitterness.
I can achieve my dream without these lofty, worldly goals. I can achieve them in every moment in which my heart is awake and sitting on the throne of my consciousness. So where does that leave me with the knowledge that I can live any life I wish? What do I really want? I want to be a companion, a lover, a friend. I want to taste the warmth of the sun on my cheeks with someone. I want a companion with whom to seek to uncover the Truth in every corner of the world and within ourselves, and to learn together from the dragonfly, the spider, and the cottonwood tree, and from the kindness in a stranger’s eyes. I want someone beside me to witness all of it, together. I want to feel the smile in his eyes caress my heart. I want to feel the salty sea wind in my face, whipping my hair back, with him beside me. I want to taste life. I want to taste Life. I want to witness the majesty of the mountain range and of the human spirit manifested in cultures and arts around the world.
I want to travel the dusty backroads of the world to sit at the feet of the humble and patient to learn their secrets. I want to love. I want to be a friend, a lover, a companion. I want to live a life where the feel of the fabric on my skin reminds me of the ecstasy of the Beloved’s touch on my soul.
And, I am. That is my life. And that companion is with me in every moment, He is my Beloved, and in every moment of my life, He is teaching me about Himself. He is revealing His Truth. He is revealing He IS Truth, whether I want to see it or not. He is my Beloved, my Companion, my Friend, and I exist only to love and serve Him, by loving and serving His beloved creatures, and by witnessing His perfect Beauty and Majesty in every moment, in everything around me, because la illaha ilallah there is no reality but God. There is no truth but God. There is no love but God. There is nothing that exists, but God.
The tree in my dream said I could have anything I want in this world, and I realized I already have it all, and it is perfect.