Day 12: “What do I want to say?”

Day 12: “What do I want to say?”

What do I want to say?
I found myself
here,
and I want to rejoice,
to dance on the roof tops
and bound from cloud to cloud
exclaiming the perfection
of being alive.

Is that what I wanted to share?

I broke, I crumbled,
this year.
I became the dust on my blue and peach patchwork bed spread.
I couldn’t go to work,
I laid in bed till 1pm, the afternoon light bright in my turquoise-curtained room.
Who am I and why am I here?
Poor and alone, in debt up to the skies,
and nothing in sight.

Did I take a wrong turn?

I gathered my pieces, and sorted through
the crushed brown stones,
the gray dust
and bits of bright ruby and diamond.
I think I’ll keep these, I thought,
as I tucked the jewels in my purse,
and tossed the rocks and dust to the wind,
to float down the river that flows
past my home
for now
at the Buddhist temple.

I was lost and then I found myself
right where I am
already doing
what I’m meant to be doing:

writing this poem,

right here
right now.

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